An Oral Family History

Too often when older family members die, they take with them a wealth of family information they never passed on to their family because they thought no one was interested or because family members gave the impression they weren't interested. In addition, people often don't know where to get started in talking about their family history. The following questions are designed to act as a stimulus to get the memories flowing (they grew out of my curiosity about my own parents and grandparents) so feel free to ignore ones you feel are inapplicable, change them, or add to them as you please.

One of the benefits of modern technology is that recording family history is less work than at any time in history. A mixture of cassette and video recordings will leave an aural and visual record of family members long after they have died.

1. Where were you born and what were your parents doing at that time?

• Tell us as much as you can about your parents' background, i.e. where they were born, where their ancestors came from, where they were educated, what work they did.
• What remarkable things do you remember about your parents as you grew up? What things were important to them?
• What remarkable things can you remember about your grandparents? Great aunts, uncles, aunts, uncles, cousins or other relatives.
• Who were some non-family members who were remarkable (perhaps because they were "characters") or who had an influence on you?
• Tell us about your brothers and/or sisters.

2. What are your earliest childhood memories?

3. What were some of the contrasts between your upbringing and the upbringing of your contemporaries? Similarities?

4. What are some of the contrasts between your upbringing and that of children today? Similarities?

5. Where did you go to elementary school? Secondary school?

• What type of school was it?
• How would you rate the education you got?
• What were the strengths and weaknesses of that system?
• How does it compare with today's education system as you see it?

6. Describe a typical summer, winter, fall and spring day when you were in:

• elementary school.
• high school

7. What leisure activities did you have as a child and adolescent?

• What chores did you have?

8. As a teenager, what were your contacts with the opposite sex?

• Did you date? If so, what kinds of places did you go?
• What are the differences between then and now?

9. How did you do as a student in elementary and high school?

• What were your weak and strong subjects?
• What subjects did you enjoy? Why?
• Were there any teachers who were particularly influential during your schooling? Why?

10. What influence did religion have in your upbringing?

• How have your view about what it means to be religious changed over the years?

11. Why did you decide to enter post-secondary education?

• What did you study and why?
• What was a typical university day/course like?
• Did you live in residence? If so, what was that like?
• What did you do for recreation and entertainment?
• Are you satisfied with the career choice you made? Would you have liked to do something different?

12. When did you first meet your spouse?

• What attracted you about him/her initially? Later?
• What kinds of activities did you do when you were dating?
• When did you decide to get married? How did you propose?
• What were your parents' feelings about your decision to marry?
• Did you ask them for permission/advice?
• Did you have any initial doubts about the decision to get married? Later?
• What is the most important thing in choosing a spouse?
• What are the most important things in growing together as a couple?

13. How do you feel about your career/s?

• Do you regret anything about the way you pursued your career?
• Would you follow the same career again?
• What advice do you have about balancing a career and family relationships?
• If the wife stopped work after marriage, how did you feel about that? Would you do the same today?
• If the wife continued working after marriage, how did you manage a career and raising a family? Do you have any advice for women today faced with the same situation?

14. How did you feel about becoming a parent?

• What was the most frightening thing about parenthood? The most rewarding?
• What values do you most want your children to retain and pass on to their own children?

15. Tell us a little more detail about your career:

• Who were some of the influential people you met?
• Who were some of the unusual/memorable people you met?
• What changes have you seen in your career over the years since you started?
• Which of these were good and which were bad?
• Tell us some of the humorous incidents you can remember over the years you worked.
• Were there any sobering incidents you would like to tell us about?

16. What have you done over the years for leisure?

• Why did you choose these activities?
• Which were most satisfying?
• Which would you pursue again if you had the chance?
• Which would you not pursue at all?

17. Talk about your involvement in religious activities over the years.

• What kinds of things have you done over the years?
• Which were the most spiritually beneficial to you?
• What would you do the same/differently if you had the chance again?
• Where do you see religion going in the future?
• What positive aspects do you see in the present-day religion?
• Are there trends that worry you? If so, what can/should be done about them?

18. How has your outlook on life changed as you get older?

• Can you remember how you felt about life when you were younger?
• Which of these feelings were positive and which negative?
• If you had fears when you were young, which were rational and which were irrational?
• What principles are important in remaining useful in old age?

19. What influences have friends had on your life?

• What does it take to be a good friend?
• Who are some of your friends who have been influential over the years?

20. Is there anything you would like to say to future generations of your family?

Further Questions: The Roots Web site has a list of further questions.